On the road to achieving our personal development, self-acceptance is really a key point.
When you manage to accept yourself, you will be able to live and fully enjoy the present and you will understand that, although we all always have to improve some things, you are someone with many virtues and abilities.
What is Self Acceptance?
Before Self Acceptance comes self knowledge and to achieve it, we must first know each of our weaknesses, as well as all our strengths.
That we are aware of our virtues and defects, is the first step to achieve that long-awaited self-acceptance and to fully love ourselves. And here we must be unconditional.
It is very easy for all of us to accept and love our good parts, but in order to achieve high self-esteem and improve the confidence we have in ourselves, we need to learn to accept also the bad that comes within the package.
If we really accept ourselves for what we are and not for what we think we should be, we will be able to make decisions that are consistent with our real needs and that will bring us closer to achieving the goals we have set ourselves.
WHY IS SELF ACCEPTANCE IMPORTANT?
As we said at the beginning, this is a crucial issue. If we are not able to accept ourselves as we are, we will spend the rest of our life trying to be someone else and resenting that we cannot have an authentic life.
That can lead to serious consequences, including mental illnesses (which most often trigger physical disorders) such as stress, low self-esteem, depression and lack of confidence in ourselves and others.
We could also become compulsive liars, and we would have a high chance of becoming victims of a toxic person. And the list continues.
You can see how important it is that we work in complete self-acceptance. Only in that way will we feel really comfortable and happy inside our own skin.
That is the first step to face and overcome all the challenges that life will impose on us. Only if you accept yourself, will you be able to value yourself enough to demand the same respect from others.
WHAT STEPS CAN I TAKE TO ACHIEVE SELF-ACCEPTANCE?
Like almost everything in life, self-acceptance is a process. It is illusory to expect that the way we perceive ourselves will change overnight.
However, it is very important to keep in mind that changing that way of seeing ourselves is of vital importance for our development as people , so we must be patient and work very hard.
Therefore, to help you in your self-acceptance process, I share 10 tips:
1. CONVINCE THAT YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR MENTALITY
To achieve anything you set out in life, it is necessary that you are willing to make changes, sometimes radical, and that in many occasions include great sacrifices. And the same goes for self-acceptance.
As we said above, to get it we have to transform the way we think and the way we look.
It is important that you understand that, if you do not work on it, probably in the end the alternative that you have left will be the absolute hatred towards yourself (or at least hate parts of you), and that would be a disaster.
Thinking seriously about this consequence could give you the necessary motivation to start working immediately on this change in mentality that is so essential in life.
2. LEARN TO LOVE YOU
If you are going to judge yourself, let it be the way you would do with someone you love very much.
We are our worst critics and that hurts our self-esteem and confidence.
We must develop the ability to be patient with ourselves and understand that, like all other human beings, we have defects.
3. LEAVE THE PAST AND FORGIVE
The non-self-acceptance of most people happens due to the mistakes of their past.
Since we were little we all have dreams, which we pursue (or at least some of them) for much of our lives. If someone does not comply, we may feel frustrated and disappointed and end up blaming ourselves.
Although it is important to take responsibility for our actions, it is also essential to know when we should let go of that feeling of guilt. No one deserves more of your love and kindness than yourself and, if there are things that have happened (or that could not happen) due to your “defects” or “lack of skills,” the best thing you can do is forgive yourself.
The things you did (or stopped doing) in the past, were for a reason and if today those reasons make no sense to you, it is because you have changed. But at that time, those seemed to be the right path or decision.
If you are able to forgive others and understand their past, why can’t you do the same for yourself?
4. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND PERSONAL SUPERVISION
If you achieve self-acceptance, it means that you admit your reality (your current situation, your defects and virtues, etc.) and that you understand that all that is part of you and that you love yourself for it (and not in spite of it).
But the fact that you accept yourself today does not mean that you will never want to change or improve something about yourself.
We live in a world of constant change and it is normal that we want to improve ourselves and acquire new skills. Knowing and accepting you not only does not prevent your self- improvement , but (in addition to not preventing you), it will make your task easier.
5. LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF
The sense of humor is an excellent tool on the road to self-acceptance.
If we take things less seriously and learn to laugh at ourselves instead of blaming or stressing ourselves for everything, not only will we be able to accept ourselves more easily, but at the same time, we will live more calm and happier .
6. KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
There are many things we can do to maintain a positive attitude towards difficulties and here we share some tips.
In addition to that, practicing positive affirmations or mantras is something that will help you not to hear that little voice that seeks to discourage us on multiple occasions.
7. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT PERFECT
Forget once and for all of perfection and stop in your attempts to reach it. I know from experience that for those of us who consider ourselves “perfectionists”, getting that can be very difficult, but I assure you that it is possible and absolutely necessary.
Nothing and nobody is perfect and breaking our head daily (and sometimes the back) trying to achieve perfection is counterproductive. Trying our best is one thing, but obsessing us will only fill us with stress and frustrations. We must learn to realize when it is enough and understand that we need to stop.
8. BELIEVE IN YOU
Develop confidence in yourself .
Knowing (and really believing) that we are able to achieve our goals is the only real way we have to obtain them.
That confidence will help you understand that having defects does not make you someone bad, much less; nor that by having them, someone else will stop your way. Thus you will understand that such defects only complement the set of characteristics that differentiate you from the rest of the people.
9. DON’T GIVE UP
Through our mistakes and failures, we will learn the great lessons that life will give us.
Knowing that we are not good at something does not have to be a bad experience, but rather it will help us to value our effort and learn from our failures.
It is very normal to feel somewhat frustrated or sad from time to time. But in those moments of uncertainty it is good to remember that there are still endless opportunities and possibilities that you have not yet explored, and that are waiting for you.
We must understand that everything “bad” and “good” in each one of us comes hand in hand and that basically, it is that combination of things that makes us unique and special, and that this is the key to achieving our self-acceptance
It is very true that our strengths make us stand out, but it is our weaknesses that make us human. Because, believe me, my friends, that if we were all perfect … how boring the world would be!
15 QUOTES ON SELF-ACCEPTANCE:
- “The worst loneliness is not being comfortable with yourself.” – Mark Twain
“No amount of personal improvement can compensate for the lack of self-acceptance.” – Robert Holden.
- “The mistake made by ninety-nine percent of humanity was to be ashamed of what they were; lie about them and try to be someone else. ” – JK Rowling, The Casual Vacancy.
- “To love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” – Andrew Dykstra
- “You are always with yourself, so why not enjoy the company.” – Diane Von Furstenberg
- “Gratitude turns disappointment into lessons learned, discoveries made, alternatives explored and new plans underway.” – Auliq-Ice
- “If you start to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
- “There is no way you can genuinely, powerfully and truly love yourself, while trying to create a mask of perfection.” – Vironika Tugaleva
- “Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but about becoming the person you should be, and who you already are, but you don’t know how to be.” – Heath L. Buckmaster
- “The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are.” – Joseph Campbell
- “It’s not worth letting our imperfections always bother us.” – Henry David Thoreau
- “You were what you were and you are what you are. Fuck the regrets. – Irvine Welsh
- “A person must make peace with himself before finding peace with the world.” – Kilroy J. Oldster
- “It’s not your job to love me, it’s mine.” – Byron Katie
- “I laugh at myself. I don’t take myself very seriously. I think this is a quality that people should hold on to. You have to laugh, especially about yourself. ” – Madonna